I can't believe it has been a year today since my mom went to be with the Lord. So many changes in my life since that day and so many things she wouldn't be happy about.
In the days and months before getting to the place she couldn't speak, we would talk about how it would be when she was gone. I tried to assure her that what she thought and expected would happen would actually happen but I knew in my heart that life would be different.....at least for me.
Death and finances seem to always change people.....change family. Maybe someday when one of us is sick or on death's door we will talk again but until then, I will continue to love from afar and not push. At this point, that's all that's accepted.
I have also gotten to know my other family and am trying to stay in touch with them too. Unfortunately, my half brother, Harvey, just went home to be with the Lord and that is how we all got reconnected. It was such a blessing for me to go to the Celebration of Life for him and hear stories of his life from his friends he had from grade school. I understand now a little more of why I am the way I am at times.....it's heredity.
I have one more brother, several nieces and a nephew left along with all of their families and hopefully we can stay in touch as much as possible. I love seeing pictures of my dad and seeing myself. I only have my pictures of my mom and grandpa and grandma but don't have access to the keepsakes that I would like to pass down to my children. It's sad but they are just things and I do my memories for now. HA!
I wrote this to remind people that life is too short to hold grudges, real or perceived. Don't waste the precious time you have on petty things.