Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Dreaming....

It's the end of another year and so many thoughts continually fill my mind.  My son, Daniel just went into the Army and is now in BASIC training in South Carolina.  I dream of him often and pray for him every moment of the day.  I dream of the next time I get to see him (Lord willing for Christmas for 2 weeks).  I dream of him becoming the man of God that I know he will become.

I dream of family members not here anymore to celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas, family that were never here and family that will be in the future.  What will it be like?  Will it be like years past? What are my real family's Thanksgiving and Christmas like?  Do they think about me and what I am doing?  I am thankful for loved ones who have gone on to Heaven and will be spending yet another glorious season with God our Father.  Thankful that they are no longer suffering.

I dream of the day there is no more suffering and no more heartache for anyone.

There are things that I mourn deep in my soul that others will never know about....except Jesus.  Many dreams that did not come true and many that did.  Heartache either way.  I believe that God allows some of our dreams to not come true because they wouldn't be the best for us and some dreams to come to pass that we never knew we had.

Our home group was watching a video on Right now.org about Peter and the old singer, Michael Card was hosting the sessions.  At the end of the session he sang an old song called, "Mourning the Death of a Dream".   It caught me off guard.....tears filled my eyes as I thought of some things in my life that I mourned.  Although this song was written about Peter my soul often echos these words.

Cool morning shadows sadly shift across the floor
Each time we say goodbye it's harder than before
Even after all the pain of parting still we find
That we must mourn the death of the dreams we leave behind
As I turn my back on all that means the most to me
The sounds and smells, the light that dances on the sea
The greatest gamble is to act on the belief
That only the slave who leaves it all is truly free

The sacrifice that we both lay before His feet
A thousand moments that belonged to us
That now will never be

By faith we hold a better dream inside our hearts
A time when our family will never have to be apart
Till then we struggle with just what it really means
And we will mourn the death of our beautiful dreams
Mourn the death of our beautiful dreams > 

Nena

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Camping....sort of

This is a followup on my 'Backpacks and Butterflies' story and it's gonna be short.  I started my journey at 5:45am from Redding so that I could get to my friends house by 7:00am (thinking there was going to be road construction on Hwy 299).  The drive was beautiful with the sun peeking through the trees periodically as I made my way to Weaverville.  Of course I had the top down on my little car and my music playing....loudly!

Once I arrived we got our stuff together and headed for Stuarts Fork trail.  The weather was great and my backpack was a LOT lighter this year.  This made me happy!  After about an hour and a half we got to OUR spot (this was really good since last year it took me 4 hours to get there).  I know.....that's horrible but remember, I had never backpacked.....in my life.....never AND my backpack was way too heavy.....and have you been on that trail?  It's up and down!

Ok.....are you done laughing now?  Back to the story.....the Trinity river was way down from last year and when we got there the butterflies weren't in abundance but we were there.  I was a happy girl.

We had a 'friend' the entire time (see pic).  It must have been used to people because it didn't care if we were in the water or sitting on the beach or sunning on the large rocks near the river.....nothing bothered him.
We had brought a little cook stove, bacon and hamburger meat and was wanting to eat so I set the stove up (having learned how to set it up that morning from her husband) and we started cooking the meat.  Everything was going ok until we realized that we had no utensils, plates, napkins, salt.....you name it, we DID NOT have it.  I said "heck.... if the pioneers could figure this out, we can too"!  So we proceeded to put the bacon in the dish too and found a stick that would help us turn it in the pan (see pic).  Needless to say, it wasn't half bad and we survived.

The trip was only about 12 hours long because we had to hike back out at the end of the day because of some unforeseen reasons but the time we were there, we had fun.  Next year I would like to go somewhere different in Trinity County but still by a river with a swimming hole and a beach.  If you have any suggestions, feel free to leave a comment.  Stay tuned....Nena

 

  

Friday, July 25, 2014

Butterflies and Backpacks

It's been a year since my first backpacking trip and today I am getting ready to do it again.  Last year was an experience just packing and then actually walking the Stuarts Fork trail.  My friend and I found the best place to stay the whole weekend.  When we finally got to the spot which I will affectionately call "the butterfly spot", it was like seeing heaven.  I was so exhausted that I actually didn't see it but when my friend said "this looks like a great spot"....I was so excited that we had 'arrived' somewhere that I agreed wholeheartedly without even looking at it.  Once I looked up, I could see the beautiful Trinity river curving around a couple of large boulders.  When we left the trail to head down I noticed that it had a great couple of camp sites and then I saw it.......what would be my favorite spot......a flat area next to the swimming hole in the bend of the river where I could sit on the shore and read.  And to top it all off, there were butterflies everywhere....and they seemed to love me. I couldn't go anywhere in our camping area without butterflies landing on me and my stuff.  It was perfect!

My experience last year reminds me that sometimes we just have to look up and take our eyes off of the 'circumstance' that we find ourselves in and just be thankful for where we are!  Yes the backpack I had on was too heavy (almost 30 lbs) and yes my feet and legs were killing me but when I got to the river, took my backpack off and slipped into my flip flops.....I felt like I could fly!  Seriously....it was like that game we would play when we were kids where you have someone push down on your arms while you keep them steady and when they let go, your arms feel like they are floating.  That's how I felt when I took my backpack off after carrying such a heavy load for so long.  It was a feeling that I never wanted to forget.

That's how it feels when you finally lay your burdens down before the Lord.  He just wants to lighten your load because He knows that if we just look up.....to Jesus....our burdens will be lifted and we will see that He has the best for us.  I know....sometimes it feels good to stay in your misery for awhile...to wallow around in the hurt and craziness that we call our life but someday, somewhere we will look up and see what He has for us.....and it's beautiful!

I sometimes wonder what I missed last year when I walked along that trail?  I honestly don't remember if I ever looked up except when I was resting.  Maybe this weekend I can enjoy the whole thing!

Looking forward to the butterflies and my backpack (only 17 lbs) this year.

Princess Warrior,
Nena


Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Changes

As I look back at my life I realize that I changed so many times.  I changed for my parents, my boyfriend, my boss, my friends and even sometimes for myself.  Only in the last couple of years did I make a change for my God!  Actually it was because He first loved me and gave himself freely for me that this change is genuine.  Oh I had 'changed' many times before to please those around me or because I thought I needed to be something God wanted me to be.  He only wants me to be who He says I am....I am accepted, forgiven, loved.  There is nothing I have to do to receive that and it's certainly nothing deserved.  Thank God for that!

I Samuel 7:12 says:  "Hitherto hath the Lord helped us"....Hebrews 10:13 says:  "Henceforth expecting till his enemies be made his footstool."  The first refers to the past; the second refers to the future.  There is no doubt that I have failed God this past year....and years past....but my God has NEVER failed me!  "Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness."  Lamentations 3:22-23

Every morning I have the chance to make a 'change'....a 'choice' if you will, to recall God's promises and faithfulness to me and to look forward to the days events and actions that I will participate in.  Change can happen if it is genuine.  Change can happen when you are being real with those around you.  Don't change because you are trying to please someone or stay out of trouble or get someone to stay or get that deal at work.  Change because He first loved you and He gave His Son to die on a cross for your failures.  Don't try to change others around you to make your life better or easier.  Change only yourself by following the word of God.  Don't let the circumstances in your life or the emotions that sometimes overwhelm us control how we live our lives.  Change that thinking pattern and stop listening to the lies of Satan.

May 2014 be the year you have been waiting for your whole life!  May you find Jesus like you have never known him before and may you follow Him faithfully every day.

Be blessed,

Princess Warrior,  Nena


Friday, August 23, 2013

Freedom!

                           

A picture says a thousand words.....

"When you don't know what to say, just say JESUS!  There is power in the name....the name of JESUS!"

Be strong,

Nena


Thursday, June 27, 2013

Stuart's Fork - Trinity Alps

This may be my last post.....forever! I am going backpacking tomorrow and am supposed to come back on Sunday.....that's if I am still alive!  Did I mention that this will be my first time ever to backpack?  Do you know how old I am??  HA!

I am excited, nervous, anxiously awaiting and somewhat cautious for tomorrow.  The friend I am going with (she hikes and backpacks all the time)  keeps telling me that she will have no problem tripping me and pushing me down so the bear or mountain lion can get to me first!  Thank you my dear friend!  She says since she is more experienced, if I get hurt (or mauled), she would be able to go and find help better and faster than me so it just makes sense to 'sacrifice' me.  Like I said, this is my first time but I don't think that sounds right????

Pictures will follow, if I survive, but I am told we will only hike around 6 miles or so (because it's my first time) and then camp next to a creek (which will be a river now that it has rained for 3 days).  It should only be around 90 or 95 degrees (since it will be around 108 here in Redding).  We are taking chairs (yes you heard me) so we can read and sunbathe next to the creek (I am taking my Kindle so I can have my books and Bible).  I am really looking forward to seeing God's creation and spending some quality time thanking Him for all He has done for me and continues to do.

I am excited for another thing to check off my 'bucket list'.  Next it is jumping out of a plane...but that will be another blog.

Stay tuned to see how my adventure turned out.

Princess Warrior...and backpacker,
Nena

Friday, May 31, 2013

I'm still here!

To those of you who care I am still here!  It's only the beginning of June and I'm exhausted planning my future.  You know, that future that's just in the next couple of years but if I don't think about it now and plan; I feel like it will come and go and I won't be ready for it.  God's word tells us to not worry about our future but God also tells us to be good stewards of our time and money so when I talk about the future like this, that's what I am doing....being a good steward of my time and money.

About a year and a half ago, we decided to get rid of all our credit cards and only pay for things we have the money for.  Let me tell you...it's a lot harder than you would think!  As humans we want what we want when we want it and we don't want to wait for it so for us to wait a couple of weeks for the next paycheck or save up for the next project is exhausting! ; )  So as I plan for the near future, I have to save the money that I will need for those things while still functioning in the 'now'.

Anyway....you get the idea.  Lot's of things happening....sometimes too many things but I just keep taking one day at a time.

I would love to write all of the time but it's not possible and when I do have time to write other things take priority.  I enjoy hearing from all of you so keep it up.

"Amazing Grace is the song I sing....Hello my name is Child of the one true King"......

Nena